


Unwelcome Advice

by Roguefemme



Category: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, Justice League - All Media Types, Suicide Squad (2016)
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-22
Updated: 2017-05-22
Packaged: 2018-11-03 12:44:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10967493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roguefemme/pseuds/Roguefemme
Summary: Even more annoying than Harley Quinn's love of creating chaos is her penchant for meddling in other people's love lives.A silly ficlet of Harley teasing Bruce about his attraction to the valiant Amazon princess. Bruce is just not in the mood.





	Unwelcome Advice

The door had barely closed behind Diana when Harley Quinn's voice rang out from the cell in which she was locked. The Justice League didn't have to keep Quinn in custody for long, but Bruce was already thinking that there were duties far less annoying than guarding the excessively chatty criminal- such as cleaning bat guano out of the Batcave.  
  
"I saw that!" Harley teased him in a playfully singsong tone. She was securely locked up in a small cell pending her transfer to the police, but captivity didn't stem her customary stream of cheerful sass one iota. Bruce turned to glare over his shoulder at her, to no effect. "You liiiiike her!" Harley stated, grinning as if she'd just walked into a bank safe full of cash.  
  
"Be quiet," he growled quellingly as he turned back to the computer he was working on. Harley hadn't seen much of his interaction with Wonder Woman and he had been nothing but professional with the Amazon princess, but Harley's assertions were putting his hackles up more than he wanted to admit - or explain.  
  
"Nuh-uh, I won't!" her rippling of delighted laughter punctuated the defiance. "Batsy likes a giiirrl! Who'd have thunk?"  
  
Bruce grit his teeth but made a show of being absorbed in his work.  
  
"Don't try to play like you don't when the room gets ten degrees hotter every time you're around her," Harley taunted.  
  
Bruce stoically ignored her.  
  
"Aw, I'm just playing, honey, " she crooned appeasingly, moving closer to the bars of the cell. "You should have a girlfriend. I was startin' ta think you wasn't interested in that at all. But havin' a sweetie'll be good for you. She's even a do-gooder like you."  
  
"What do _you_ know about relationships?" he bit out, and almost immediately silently cursed himself for taking her bait.  
  
"Hey!" she managed to sound offended, but it held for only a moment before smiling slyly. "I know a good match when I see it. And she's hot, don't say you don't wanna give Wonder Woman a backseat ride in the Batmobile."  
  
"Do **_not_** talk about her like that," Bruce spun to face Harley, his fists clenched as he wondered if the cowl was enough to hide the red rising in his face. Far from being chastened, she squeed like a thrilled schoolgirl.  
  
"Are you _defending her honor_?" Harley chirped delightedly. "That's so cute! You really _do_ like her!"  
  
"Be. Quiet," he snarled, his tone taking on an edge of danger.  
  
"Awright, awright." She plunked down on the bunk, sticking out her lower lip at him in a girlish pout. "But I still think you should get with her and make some baby Batsies and Wonder girls." At Bruce's sub-verbal growl she finally fell silent. Even Harley Quinn knew when she'd pushed her luck as far as it would go.

 

                                    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
Even though Quinn stayed mostly quiet for the rest of his shift, Bruce was still silently seething when Diana came in to relieve him on guard duty. After he exchanged polite greetings with her, he turned to glare warningly at Harley.  
  
"Not. One. Word," he commanded quellingly. The last thing he needed was for the 'clown princess' to spout her latest nonsense to Diana. Harley pouted at him, but mimed locking her lips and throwing away the key. He stared hard at her for a few more moments, then turned away to address Diana.  
  
"She's being even more ridiculous than usual, it's better to just ignore her." Bruce's warning was met with an amused look from Diana but she gave a small nod, which he reciprocated before leaving.  
  
Diana lifted an eyebrow after the visibly annoyed Caped Crusader as he stalked out of the room, and then she gave Harley a wryly amused glance.  
  
"It's not wise to antagonize him so much," she warned Harley half-seriously, wondering what the clownish girl could have said to irritate the normally stoic Bruce so thoroughly.  
  
"Aww, Batsy and I are buddies, he knows I'm just playin'." Harley settled back on the bunk, her demeanor utterly unconcerned. Diana shook her head and took the seat Bruce had just vacated.  
  
"But speakin' of Batsy," Harley piped up, "You should get yourself some a' that..."  
  



End file.
